"Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much do the same thing." -Meg Chittenden

Thursday, July 26, 2012

The Incredible, Inedible Pen

It's that time again!

After an additional six months of editing my current work (tentatively titled "The Shadowguard", though I've had some suggestions to remove the "the"), I've finally sent it out for the initial testing: First Reads! Thank you to all my BFR's, and I hope you enjoy!

For myself, I've printed and bound the book, double-spaced and bookmarked, so I can carry it with me wherever I go and edit with my lovely red pen. 
I really love my red pen.

Pretty soon, I'll be writing query letters and blurbs, all of which I will post here. I'm trying to think of this as similar to a cover letter, except for my book rather than for me. And a bit more creative. We shall see, I suppose.

For anyone interested, I have some nice acronyms for my editing. Here is the key:
AP = awkward phrasing
RW = rework/rewrite
FTS = fix this crap (S stands for something else, but I changed it for euphemistic purposes)
WSE = worst sentence ever
PP = passive phrase
WC = word choice
CC = check consistency

I also tend to circle repeated words, underline or put in brackets things that should be fixed, and scribble things out that suck. Editing FTW!

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Let it Rain


             “Hey, Cam, what do you think the winning Lotto numbers are?”
            Cameron looked up at me, her blue eyes vacant. “Huh?”
            I knew that would be my answer. “Well, it was worth a shot.” I ripped the red-inked paper in half and tossed it into the recycle. Cameron beamed at me and I half-smiled back. “What are you going to wear today?”
            Still grinning, she pointed at her rubber dinosaur boots and Morton-salt-girl rain coat. “Rain!”
            A glance outside revealed a cloudless July sky. “It’s summer.”
            “Rain, rain, rain, rain, rain!” Cameron chanted, happy as a clam at high tide. She slid yellow-stockinged feet into her boots. Experience warned me away from an attempt to convince her to change her orange leggings. If she wanted to look like a du ck, then she would look like a duck. End of story.
            “Where do you want to go today?” I asked as I pulled on a tank top and shorts. I considered flip flops to show off the pedicure I’d given myself that morning, but reconsidered. If Cameron was wearing rain boots, then I wanted real shoes.
            “Park!” Cameron crowed. “It’s raining in the park!”
            Our apartment was three blocks from the park. I doubted it.
            “Well, finish getting dressed! We don’t have all day, you know.”
            She pulled her bright coat on over her mismatched light and dark green skirt and shirt. I buttoned it up for her while she put her hat on just right.
            “How do I look?” For the first time her eyes showed an emotion other than cheer.
            Her hat was crooked, her hair tangled, and she looked like a giant Starburst wrapper. “You look great, Cam,” I replied, and grabbed an umbrella on our way out the door.
***
            “Kayleigh, you can’t sit there, that’s the stupid table.”
            I’d been about to place my lunch tray next to Cameron’s. At my new friend’s words, however, I straightened back up. “What do you mean?”
            She pulled me aside. “Those are the retarded kids,” she whispered. “They aren’t like us.” Her face was serious, completely contrary to her flowery pink dress and beribboned braids.
            I looked between Cameron and my new friend, made just that morning in Mrs. Beck’s class. She gave a little tug on my arm, spilling my cup of juice and urging me to come with her, to get away from the “stupid kids”. I took a step in her direction, then looked back at Cameron. She was watching me silently, a hazy kind of hurt in her eyes.
            “No.” I tugged away from the girl whose name I forgot later that day. “You aren’t like Cameron.” I sat stubbornly at the stupid table while the girl marched away in a huff.
            Cameron seemed happy, but I ate my lunch in grumpy silence. When I saw how people avoided me afterward, as if I carried a disease, I came to two conclusions: first, that I hated school lunches; and second, that Cameron would be my only friend ever.
***
            It was warm and sunny at the park. The air smelled of lawn clippings and salt air, a sure sign of the season. It seemed doubtful that rain was on the way. Still, Cameron had never been wrong when it came to weather.
            Delighting in the fresh green surroundings, she took off with a Xena yell. Women pushing strollers glared in our direction. A jogger stopped to stare at the crazy girl in the rain coat running full-tilt toward the nearest tree. She blazed past him while he gaped.
            When she hit the tree, she began to climb, raincoat and all. It was an old maple with plenty of branches, but as soon as her feet lifted off the ground I ran toward her. “Cameron! Cam! What are you doing?!
            “Climb!” she ordered when I arrived, panting.
            “No, you come down.”
            “No, climb!” She was moving further up into the branches, surprisingly agile. Her boots had no traction against the branches but that didn’t seem to affect her. I just knew that she would get stuck on her way down.
            Setting my hands against the branch over my head, I lifted myself off the ground and began to climb.
***
            “Camie, look!” I shouted.
            Cameron looked up at me. She was wearing a red-and-white striped shirt over blue jeans and was sitting in a pile of oak leaves we had raked earlier, searching for galls. I perched in the tree right above the pile, over Cameron’s head. She grinned and waved, but was not distracted from her hunt for long. She picked up another leaf, inspected it, and put it behind her.
            Farther out on the branch, there was a rope with a tire attached to it. Angry that Cameron wasn’t looking, I crawled farther out. Dirt and moss from the limb clung to my scabby knees and my shorts. I ignored this, although it was itchy. “Camie, I’m gonna climb down the rope!”
            Cameron nodded, but didn’t look up.
            Infuriated, I took hold of the moldy rope. It was at least twelve feet long, which was plenty of length to reach Cameron. I used my weight to start rocking the tire swing in her direction, hoping to bump her head so she would watch.
            The swing was heavier than I had thought. I was able to bring its momentum up enough so that it moved back and forth a few feet, but it wasn’t enough to hit Cameron. This only made me madder. I shifted my position so I was lying down on the limb, holding on to a smaller branch for support while I grabbed farther down on the rope.
            This was a mistake. The mossy old branch was not meant for all the gymnastics I was doing. My handhold snapped, and down I went.
            I didn’t have time to scream. My hands grasped for the rope but I was falling too fast. Heat sliced through my palms. If it hadn’t been for the tire swing, I would have landed on my chest and probably broken some ribs or my spine. Instead, the big black wheel knocked me to one side so that I landed on my leg instead, which snapped with a crack like a gunshot.
            I laid on the ground for several moments, dazed, while the tire swayed back and forth over me. When I looked for Cameron, she was lying in the leaves, bumped over from the force of the swing. Her eyes were closed, and I started crying.
***
            My knee was scraped, my hair was covered in leaves, and I was trembling by the time I reached Cameron’s perch. She sat with her legs crossed in front of her and her back to the trunk, grinning like I’d just given her a Christmas present. With one last heave, I brought my leg over the branch in front of her and straddled it. We stared at each other for a few minutes. Then Cameron laughed.
            “This is fun!”
            “That depends on your definition of fun. Better than having to work though, huh?”
            “Work is fun too!”
            To her, everything was fun. I glanced down. We were at least fifteen feet in the air. With a gulp, I turned my face back to Cameron. This was not my idea of fun.
            “When is it going to rain?” I asked to distract myself.
            Cameron shrugged. “I don’t know.” She was still smiling.
            “Since when did you start climbing trees?” So much for a distraction.
            She paused to think about my question, though I knew perfectly well what the answer would be. “Today,” she said.
            Of all the luck. “Think we can get down now?”
            “Yes!” she said. “Me first!” Before I could protest, she was down to the next lowest branch, her skinny arms holding on to the trunk almost carelessly.
            “Be careful!” I shouted as she hopped her way to the ground. Her feet touched the grass safely, and she looked up.
            “Ok, your turn!” she said with a big smile.
***
            I clutched Cameron’s hand tighter under the table as my boss looked her up and down. “Cam’s the best typist you’ll ever meet,” I told her as seriously as possible. “If you ask her to type something up, she’ll do it with enthusiasm, and there won’t be a single error. She’s got ninety words per minute.”
            My boss glanced at me, then back at Cameron. “And you say she won’t be a disturbance?”
            “Not if you tell her not to be.”
            Cameron smiled at my boss, who raised an eyebrow at me. “She certainly is cheerful.”
            “Never a down day,” I agreed.
            She considered for a few more minutes. “We’ll try her out. If she doesn’t fit with the company, she’ll have to find new employment. Is that understood?”
            “Perfectly.” I stood up and tugged Cameron to her feet. “Cam, remember what we practiced?”
            Cameron nodded happily. “Thank you for this opportunity,” she enunciated, slow and careful to get each sound out properly, and held out her hand to my boss.
            She smiled and took it. “I look forward to working with you.”
***
            The bark pressing into my face was sure to leave an imprint on my cheek for the rest of my life. Is this what a tree hugger feels like? I wondered.
            Below me, Cameron was singing to herself. Occasionally she would smile up in my direction and give me helpful advice. As said advice was usually “just jump!” I ignored most of it. I clung to the trunk and tried to use it to help my descent. It took me ten minutes to get to the next branch down, and once I was there I couldn’t convince myself to try again.
            A male voice below startled me. Someone was talking to Cameron.
            When I peaked down, trying to ignore the dizzying drop, I saw two faces looking up at me. One I recognized, one I didn’t. Cameron pointed at me while smiling at the man, who looked like he was trying not to laugh.
            “Need a little help?” he called up in a friendly voice.
            “Not from you!” I shouted back, though I had no idea who he was. I just wanted him to leave us alone.
            “Of course not. Hold on. I’m coming up.”
***
            Cameron and I were on our way home from work. She was skipping and singing, carrying a purple owl purse that held all her essentials: pen, notepad, ladybug stickers, and pre-paid cell phone. The notepad, I knew, was mostly filled with random doodles, but she used it to take notes on occasion.
            We’d left later than usual, so the sun was already down over the water, but the air was warm for a February evening and I’d stuffed my heavy jacket in my backpack. Since I usually kept my knife in my coat pocket, it was impossible to get at when the attack came.
            They grabbed Cameron’s arms and pushed her to the ground. She fell without a sound. I yelled and rushed for her, but they got me too, and forcefully wrenched my backpack from my arms. They searched my neck, wrists, and ears for jewelry, but found only a cheap ring I wore on my right hand. This was left in the street.
            When they were gone, I dropped at Cameron’s side. There was blood on her neck from the necklace they had pulled off, and she was sobbing. I sat with her head in my lap, stroking her hair back slowly until she cried herself out.
            “Those people were mean,” she hiccupped.
            “Yeah,” I replied, staring out at the water. “Mean people.”
***
            He was up on my branch in less than a minute. “Go away,” I told him, still turned toward the trunk.
            “Now, is that the way to greet a friend?” he joked.
            “I don’t have any friends.”
            “That nice girl down there looks like one.”
            “That’s different.”
            “Now, I’ll understand if I’m not your type,” he said with a grin as I turned my face toward him. “But you should just say so. Don’t leave me hanging here.”
            I groaned at the pun. “People aren’t my type.”
            “That’s the spirit! Now here, grab my hand and I’ll help you down.”
            He held out an overly-large hand. It seemed disproportionate with the rest of him, which was tall and skinny. I looked down again, shuddered at the potential fall, and took it.
            Step by step, he coached me down until I was firmly on land again. I could have kissed the grass. Cameron hugged me tightly. “You did it!” Then she stood and danced around me, singing a tuneless victory song.
            The man jumped down beside me. He grinned. “Well at least someone’s happy!”
            Cameron hugged him too. He hugged her back, even going so far as to pick her up and twirl her around like a girl. This was quite the feat, as she was at least twice as wide as him, though not nearly so tall.
            “Thanks,” I said softly.
            “Climbing trees is my specialty,” he said, though I hadn’t meant the tree. “Call me Luke. Either of you up for ice cream?”
            Cameron jumped up and down. “Me! Me, me, me, me, me!”
            “We should probably be getting home, Cam,” I said softly without looking at Luke. She looked so disappointed, but it was almost time to make dinner. “Thank you for the offer though.”
            “Anytime. I suppose I’d better be off as well. If you ever get stuck in a tree again, don’t hesitate to call. I’ll see you around!” He tipped an imaginary hat in our direction and sashayed away, whistling the theme song for Chariots of Fire.
            “C’mon, Cam,” I said, taking her arm. “Let’s go.”
            Hand-in-hand, we strolled from the park. I glanced back once to see if Luke was still nearby but he had long since left. Shrugging, I faced forward.
As we left the rolling lawn, the skies opened up and it began to rain.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

We Are The 99%


            Sarah has been driving me crazy lately.
            We’re sitting in my room as I get changed for work—a low-paying waitress gig downtown that takes care of my half of the bills. She glances up at me once from her mad texting on her iPhone. “I mean, come on,” she says in an exaggeratedly annoyed tone. “It’s not like I’m asking him to commit or anything. It’s just a rally.”
            “Mmhmm,” I murmur.
            “Don’t put your hair in such a tight ponytail, Emry, it makes you look like you’re bald. I told him the same thing and he totally freaked.”
            “That he shouldn’t put his hair in a ponytail?”
            “No, about the rally.”
            “I don’t think he really cares about the occupy movement.” I ignore her comment about my hair. My mom says the same thing.
            “Ugh, exactly,” she says. “I don’t think this is going to work out. He’s too boring. I need excitement in my life, you know?”
            “Sad,” I reply noncommittally as I grab my purse and house keys. It is sad. I actually like Hugh, but Sarah never keeps boyfriends for long. I’d seen this coming since she first started dating him. “I gotta go,” I tell her as she opens her mouth to complain some more. “See you in a few.”
            “Have fun at work!” she says cheerfully and bounces up from my bed. “Don’t forget about the party when you get home. You promised you’d go this time. No ponytails, I mean it!”
            I don’t argue, just smile and wave as I leave our apartment. She’s been begging me to go out with her for weeks now, and I finally relented, but only because my exam was moved to Thursday, and I had the day off tomorrow.
            Work is the same as usual. I manage to snag a few bucks in tips, apparently impressing the parents of three and the groups of college buddies with my “cheerful, upbeat, helpful smile, to go that extra Luna mile.” Counting later, I find a nice chunk of cash, enough to pay for my power bill for the month.
            “Score,” I say to Deb, the other part-time waitress on shift with me. She high fives me as we go our separate directions, me to the bus stop and her to her car. She honks a cheerful goodbye as she passes, heading for home.
            Sarah is gone by the time I reach our apartment. It’s probably only around eight, but she’d mentioned something earlier about going to a friend’s to get ready. Showering only takes a few minutes, so I decide to let my hair air-dry. Sarah wouldn’t like it, but at least it’s not in a pony. I play a few rounds of Freecell while I wait for the clock to tick down.
            On my desk, my phone jumps. It’s a dinosaur of a phone. Every text message makes it freak out like the apocalypse is coming. I snatch it before it can vibrate again and flip it open. It’s from Sarah. R U coming?
            Yeah, be there in a few, I text back with a sigh. It’s go time.
            “This place is sure hopping,” I say as I finally find Sarah scrunched up on a couch placed inexplicably in the kitchen. It blocks access to the refrigerator, but not the all-important freezer, where the booze is stacked haphazardly. As I watch, a guy opens the door, catching the bottle that falls out with a practiced ease.
            “It’s early, don’t worry about it,” she replies. “I can’t believe you actually came!”
            “I said I would, wouldn’t I?”
            “Yeah, but you’ve said that before. Hey, c’mon, I want you to meet someone!” She jumps from the couch and nearly yanks my arm off as she tows me toward the living room, where the music is almost too loud to hear anything. A few people are standing about, mingling, but they ignore us as we pass through towards the front door.
            Once we’re outside, she lets go of my hand. “David, over here!” she shouts, waving at a guy in jeans and a Tool shirt. He is with a group of friends who are all smoking Marlboros and holding sketchy red Solo cups, sometimes talking and sometimes not. He nods in our direction, but doesn’t leave his friends.
            “Let’s go,” Sarah says impatiently, and walks towards the group without checking to see if I’m following. I do.
            “Hey, Babe,” David says, sliding his arm around Sarah’s shoulders. She giggles and leans into the embrace and I think of poor Hugh, who was probably dumped a few hours ago. “I was just talking about you.”
            “I hope you weren’t scaring anyone,” Sarah replies with an easy laugh. The others follow suit. “This is my roommate Emry.”
            There is a chorus of “hey”s and “Nice to meet you”s. I smile, but don’t say anything beyond an initial “hello”.
“We were talking about the rally on Thursday,” David says. “We’ve got a caravan going to drive to New York City and we’re going to pool our money for the gas. Plan is to meet in front of the Stock Exchange and slowly work our way into city transit. You down?”
            Sarah is delighted. “Of course! I was just trying to get my ex to go with me!”
            The friends grin. “Sweet!” a girl says. Her right ear is pierced at least a dozen times. She flicks her cigarette but into the bushes next to her. “We’ve been trying to get a huge group. Occupy Interstate Eighty!” she jokes. Everyone laughs.
            Sarah looks at me. “Want to come Emry? It’ll be fun! New York’s only like what, hundred miles?”
            “About a hundred fifty,” David corrects. “With all five of us, it should only cost twelve bucks or so.”
            Everyone is looking at me expectantly, with varying smiles on their faces. Sarah’s is hopeful, David’s wide and sure. Ear Piercings is giving me a “what are you waiting for” look, and the other two, a guy with sandy blonde hair and a girl with a perpetual scowl just raised their eyebrows, twin looks of expectancy.
            “I can’t,” I say. “I have an exam in the afternoon, and I have to work after that.”
            They all groan as one. “Can’t you get the day off?” Sarah asks pleadingly. “I already asked Midge and she said to go for it.” Midge is her boss at the coffee stand on campus.
            “I’m covering for Deb,” I explain.
            “Bitch,” Sarah mutters faithfully. “Can’t even give you a ride home after work and now she jumps the gun on the biggest day in history. Seriously, Emry, why do you let her walk all over you like that?”
            I don’t let Deb walk all over me, but this is an old argument. I remain silent.
            “Man, you have a job?” the blonde dude asks. “I’ve been applying since like, August, and I still can’t seem to get hired. All the openings on the school’s job listing site get filled before I manage to get to them.”
            “You should try some of the places downtown,” Sarah pipes in helpfully. “It’s easier to get a job if you go in person to check them out.”
            “Yeah, but it still isn’t enough to pay the bills.”
            “Fucking corporates,” the scowling girl says. “Root of all our problems, I say. After the seventeenth, though, they’ll be singing a different tune!”
            “Amen sistah,” says Ear Piercings, raising her Solo cup. “I’ll drink to that.”
            For the rest of the week, David is over almost every day. He brings with him Ear Piercings (whose actual name is Amber), scowling girl (Trista), and Sandy Blonde (Daniel Eureka, though his friends call him Hoover). They’re scheming for their trip, making signs and slogans on Walmart brand poster board. They research signs from other protests and try to get creative. Sarah posts a bunch of those pictures of herself holding a note on Facebook. Her latest one reads, “I am a 21-yr-old college student pursuing a BS in psychology. It costs me 7.5k per year to attend my chosen school. I sit in lecture for 18 hrs per week and I study for 2 hrs per class per day. I am paid $290 per month, which doesn’t cover my tuition and bills by half. I am the 99%. Occupywallstreet.org”.
            I tried telling her on Monday that her sign shouldn’t count because her parents are paying her tuition and bills, but she told me it didn’t matter. School is a full-time job, and she does that and has a part time job on the side, and still doesn’t make as much money as the top one percent.
            “You should be agreeing with me,” she added. “You’re affected most of all by the one percenters! I still can’t believe you aren’t going.”
            “Some of us don’t have time to waste on rallies,” I countered, offended that she thought she could dictate my opinions. Sarah doesn’t speak to me for the rest of the day.
            On Thursday, I am woken up earlier than usual by raucous laughter in the living room. I open my bedroom door blearily to see Sarah and her friends jumping on the couch and firing those party poppers at each other, laughing gleefully.
            “Almost time!” Hoover says loudly, grinning.
            Sarah is laughing, and doesn’t notice me glaring in the doorway. Last night I’d been up late studying for my test, which she knew very well.
            “God, it’s early,” Amber says. “I vote a Starbucks stop on the way out!” This was followed by cheers.
            Suddenly David sees me. “Oh shit, sorry Emry. Did we wake you up?”
            It’s obvious that they did, so I ignore him and head for the bathroom. I hear muttering behind me, and Sarah’s voice on top of everyone else saying, “Don’t worry about her. She has to get up in twenty minutes anyway. A few extra minutes of wakefulness can’t hurt her. Emry!” she calls down the hallway. “Want some coffee? We’ll bring you back a cup to make up for waking you if you want!”
            “No thanks!” I call back, and shut the bathroom door.
            After a few minutes, the noise picks back up as they get ready to leave. “Don’t forget your iPod!” someone calls. “We need tunes for the ride!” Someone else makes a joke I can’t hear and they all laugh. The door slams behind them.
When I come out into the living room, the carefully crafted signs that read “WE ARE THE 99%. OCCUPY WALL STREET” and “WALL STREET AND CORPORATIONS HAVE CORRUPTED POLITICAL PROGRESS” have disappeared. My favorite was the one that said “THAT WE’RE YOUNG ONLY MEANS WE HAVE THE MOST TO LOSE BY STANDING IDLE.” It too is gone, stowed away in the back of David’s Honda Civic.
            Grumpy and tired, I use Sarah’s KitchenAid to brew some of her Safeway Select French vanilla coffee, deciding that she owes me for the abrupt wakeup. If she notices, I’ll tell her it’s cheaper than her buying me a coffee from Starbucks and driving it all the way back here.
            With a slight eye-roll at my now-peaceful apartment, I hop in the shower to get ready for my day.
            Sarah texts me at noon. OMG look @ FB. Just posted pics of D & me!
            It’s my lunch break so she knows I’ll be in the library, doing some last-minute studying. She let me borrow her Macbook for the day, so I reluctantly pulled it out of my backpack and opened it to her Facebook homepage. Sarah and David are taking up the entire top half of her news feed with pictures of them shouting and cheering, holding a sign together. They are surrounded by other protesters. Underneath the pictures the caption says “Sent from my iPhone”.
            She’s also posted minute-by-minute updates to Twitter. I only have a few minutes to spare to read them, but I do. One says she wishes her bestie was there with her.
            Sounds like fun, I text back, and turn my phone off. I need to get back to studying. I power off her Macbook and slip it back into my bag. Time to get to work.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

And We're Still Counting


Notice the dip downward at the end? All that means is that I'm making some progress in my editing :)

Sunday, February 12, 2012

The Delacey Project: A short story

This story is unedited. I'm taking it to critique on Tuesday. Any comments appreciated.
Meghan <><

The Delacey Project

            Liftoff in t minus ten minutes, and counting.
            I grit my teeth as the computer voice over the loudspeaker counts down the minutes to the end of my life.
            “Don’t worry,” a voice to my left tells me. “They’ve done this hundreds of times.”
            I don’t know this man. It’s obvious he has no idea who I am either. I ignore his attempts to put me at ease and instead ask the shuttle attendant for some water.
            “No food or drink for twenty-four hours prior to launch,” he intones. He sounds like those old school robotic voices from back before Integrated Human Speech was invented for computers. I imagine myself in a classic sixties sci-fi movie where everybody except two minor characters is either blown up or eaten by rabid aliens. The leading roles become beloved martyrs, but it’s the survivors who get to go home and live out their lives in peace.
            Liftoff in t minus eight minutes, and counting.
            My hands clench. Do they have to keep reminding me?
            The man to my left speaks up again. “This shuttle has been tested hundreds of times. It wouldn’t have passed inspection if the DSAS weren’t one-hundred percent positive it could hold up under even the worst of conditions.”
            None of this is new to me. All relevant information is in the packet they gave me when I was informed by com-link that I was selected for Project Delacey. In general, only two types of people are selected; those who pay the big bucks and those who were drawn from the lottery. Both groups of people are given the same information packet. Shows how much they really care about people like the man spewing miscellaneous factoids next to me, who probably spent billions of dollars for “the opportunity of a lifetime”.
            He is still talking, reciting the information we’ve both received. We’re perfectly safe. In a few weeks we’ll arrive at our destination and it will all be worth it, even the day without food or water. We’ll be the leaders of a whole new world, the pioneers of the future.
            I don’t tell him I ate a salad for dinner last night and a muffin and orange juice for breakfast this morning.
            Liftoff in t minus seven minutes, and counting.
            It isn’t the flight that makes me nervous, despite the man’s belief. I’ve flown on airplanes dozens of times, and even once a space shuttle that was going to the moon for a field trip in high school. I still remember the excitement I had felt, and the awe when we’d left Earth’s atmosphere for the day. It had been one of the best trips of my life.
            Another girl is strapped in across from me. Her eyes are bloodshot and she is sniffing. The man next to me finally tires of my silence and switches his attention to her, repeating the same things he told me. Other passengers give him annoyed stares.
            Now that he is no longer speaking to me, I glance at him. He is wearing a fancy business suit—impractical for this kind of trip—and has a leather briefcase in the carry-lock by his feet. I wonder at his reasons for coming, but decide they’re probably the same as all the other high-class citizens who are paying for a new start.
            I guess the crying girl is one of the randomly-selected participants. They’ve been drawing names out of a lottery for this project for years, ever since Project Delacey began. They aren’t forced to go—no one is ever forced—but the decision is probably an easy one to make. With a choice between being taxed until you have nothing left and earning enough money for your family to live on comfortably for the rest of their lives, who wouldn’t choose to go?
            “Please be sure you are buckled securely and comfortably into your seats.” Another shuttle attendant walks down the aisle in front of us, assisting the people who haven’t already followed all the steps in the safety manual and repeating the same instructions over and over. Her face and voice are more animated than the man’s, but her words come out like a computer program. “Press the green indicator button next to your chair once you are ready. The DSAS-approved secure containment system will engage once everyone has indicated that they are prepared. Please be sure you are bucked securely and comfortably into your seats. Press the green indicator…”
            The man next to me attempts to call her over, but as soon as she realizes he doesn’t need help, she continues down the length of the shuttle, mechanically repeating directions. The other shuttle attendant approaches us with the same bored expression as before. I wonder if he, too, was chosen as a random participant.
            “You may not know this,” the man next to me says in a confidential tone, though his voice is loud enough for the entire shuttle to hear what he is saying. “I am a very important man. I have dedicated much of my life to making sure this project succeeds. Do you suppose there are any amenities for one such as myself? A small glass of wine, or a snack?”
            Liftoff in t minus five minutes, and counting.
            The shuttle attendant blinks at the man. “No food or drink for twenty-four hours prior to launch,” he says, as if this is the only thing he is programmed to say.
            “Yes, yes,” the man says, waving his hand about in a grandeur manner. “But suppose I slipped you a little something under the table. Perhaps an exception?”
            “No food or drink for twenty-four hours prior to launch, no exceptions,” the shuttle attendant says, and steps away.
            The man to my left is angry. I can feel it radiating off of him in waves. Trying not to catch his attention, I push the green button on my right armrest. It’s next to the blue one that will put me to sleep once we’ve launched. It doesn’t matter. He begins speaking to me again anyway.
            “It’s quite a genius program, really,” he says conversationally, as though he hadn’t been angry with the shuttle attendant moments before. “Headed by a team of experts in all fields—psychology and sustainability and aeronautics, of course, but also engineering and physics and education. Dan Delacey’s an associate of mine, you see. Went to school together, college buddies and all that. He asked for me personally. Says he couldn’t recommend a better doctor to help settle the colonials. I got the com-link a few weeks ago, said he could get me on the next launch. And I thought, why the hell not? My wife’s divorced me, my kids moved in with her, and all my friends are here! Seemed a good time to pick up and relocate.”
            While he talks, the IHS voice on the loudspeaker continues to count down. T minus four minutes. T minus three minutes. T minus two minutes.
            “I suppose you don’t feel quite the same though, do you?” he asks me. It’s the first direct question he’s asked me and I feel obligated to give some kind of response. I shake my head slightly, but this only encourages him. “You have a life you’re leaving, I’m sure. It’s difficult to leave family and friends for research. I can’t imagine how you feel, but it probably isn’t positive toward the Project. You were a student? They seem to be selecting a lot of those, though I’m not sure why. Probably a specific sample to do a statistical analysis on.”
            I know the answer. This man thinks we are traveling to Project Delacey for research purposes, but they haven’t been doing research in over a year. Now they are trying to colonize, to populate a planet. In the event of an Earthly disaster, humans will continue to exist. I remember suddenly a story we were read in school about a man named Noah. His project manager ordered him to build a shuttle large enough to hold two of every species of animal, because he was the most trustworthy of employees. So Noah did, and he launched his shuttle called Ark, carrying with him all of the animals that would fit to Jupiter. It isn’t a true story, because Jupiter can’t be colonized, but I can’t help but feel like the animals on Noah’s shuttle. Sent to a new planet to carry on the species.
            But I don’t say any of this as he continues to happily blather on about the goodness of research, and how my sacrifice will benefit billions.
            Liftoff in t minus one minute, and counting.
            A low hum vibrates through our buckles. The containment system is engaging. I remember this from my previous trip in a shuttle. It’s meant to prevent our straps from coming undone no matter what. I can’t help but feel like it’s sealing my fate.
            “This is it!” the man says excitedly, suddenly changing his demeanor to that of a youthful boy. He sees some people getting ready to push the blue buttons on their armrests. “I can’t believe anyone would want to sleep through this. An incredible experience! I’ve never been on a shuttle before!”
            Liftoff in t minus ten seconds. Nine. Eight. Seven.
            “I’m sorry,” he say suddenly. “I never actually got your name. My name is Ray.”
            Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Prepare for launch.
            I glance at him as the ever-present rumble suddenly roared. “Lena Delacey,” I say, barely loud enough to be heard over the engine. The man’s eyes go as wide as his mouth.
I hit the blue button.

Agrarian Scarf (Revised)

Warm as the cockles,
of a
happy heart,
an amassing propagation
of vees.
Alone,
trivial. Tiny.
Together, a whole.

A harvest of silk,
and sheep
and satisfaction,
until unwittingly,
a single wild loop
blunders into a snare.

An effortful cultivation
of a league of vees.
With one unbound end,
it is unfinished, untamed.
With one mistake,
one misstep,
unfinished becomes
undone. Upended.
Unraveled.

Like a scarf is built
stitch by stitch.
A life is built
day by day.
As a scarf
may be unraveled,
so a life
may be uprooted.

And yet,
a tangle of yarn,
given tools and nurture,
may become again
a scarf,
or a hat,
or a sweater.
Renewed, refreshed,
remade.
Beginning with a vee,
and then two,
and then three.

I Ate Pie

I like to think I'm organized, at least insofar as my writing is concerned. I have a notebook containing lists of things to edit or ideas for future novels, file folders with maps and miscellaneous scraps of paper, and miscellaneous scraps of paper/sticky note pads lying about everywhere in case I ever have an idea when I don't have access to my notebook. Most notably by my bed, because my brain thinks it's hilarious to give me the best ideas right before I'm about to sleep. Of course, this means I have to turn my light on, write something quickly so I don't wake up too much, then turn it off and try to get back to that almost-sleep state.
Now, normally this isn't too much of a problem. If I have a good idea, then just a few key words will trigger the memory in my mind the next morning and I can develop it fully while I have the cognitive resources to do so. However, there are occasions when I won't have any clue what my brilliant idea was, and I have to scrap the idea.
Today, I came across one such scrap of paper. I have no idea what it means, nor what my plan was when I wrote it. There is no context around it, nothing to give me a clue what my half-sleeping mind was thinking of. Possibly a dream? I have no clue. The paper read:

"I ate pie," he said, as if that explained everything.

Of course, it explains absolutely nothing. It doesn't even make sense when I pair it with all of my other ideas about future books or edits to make to my book. In this case, my idea came to me as a phrase I could put in my story (a frequent occurrence, but usually I know where to put them the next day). But pie has never entered into my story, nor is there a character who says irrelevant things.
Sometimes, I amaze even myself with my oddities.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

1 Year, 24 Days, 20 Hours, and 1 Minute

How long does it take to write a novel? How many hours are put into it?
For me, certainly more than I actually spend writing.
During most of my downtime, I think about where my story is going and what I need to fix. I spend the time before I sleep thinking about potentials for my story, and often when I am in class that's what I am thinking about as well.
Well, friends, I have come to you today to inform you that my story is finally done.
Now, that does not mean it is finished. I still need to edit out a character, more scenes than I can count, and change the plot in a few small ways. I need to go over grammar and syntax, fix any spelling errors, and rookie mistakes (everyone makes them). But for now, I plan on celebrating with a homework break and a list of "specs" for my story.

Tentative Title: Shadowguard
Word Count: 119,731
Page Count: 188 Single-spaced in Word
Time Consumed: 1 Year, 24 Days, 20 Hours, and 1 Minute
Novel Count: 1

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Object Poem: Handmade Scarf

Warm as the cockles
of a
happy heart,
hundreds, thousands
of vees.
Alone,
tiny
and
trivial.
Together, a whole.
-
Sky blue backdrop
for a cloud of silk
and sheep
and satisfaction.
-
An unbound end,
unfinished.
Hours of work,
and for what?
Pride?
One mistake,
one misstep,
unfinished becomes
undone.
Unraveled.
-
Like a life,
built day
by day,
a scarf is built
stitch by stitch.
As a scarf
may be unraveled,
so a life
may be destroyed.
-
And yet,
renewed, refreshed,
remade,
a tangle
of yarn, given tools,
may become
again a scarf,
or a hat,
or a sweater.
Beginning with a vee,
and then two,
and then three.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Back from Break

I did not manage to finish my book on time. In fact, it is still unfinished. Between time-consuming classes, family emergencies, and A Game of Thrones (which I just finished today--wonderful book, I recommend it to all who don't mind foul language and explicit scenes), I just haven't had the time. But I'm back on track with 109,000ish words, and I know I'll be done by Spring break. Maybe I'll even have it somewhat edited and revised by then.

I am taking two more English classes to fulfill my minor. Easy classes for my last semester of college ever. But I will be posting more short stories and/or poems on this site within a few weeks.